Hey Filipe, I think you've got the makings of something solid here - though your premise reads more like an idea for a platform/side-scroller game than a 2 minute film! What I like is the idea of a pest controller deciding to be the 'best in the world' and that he's transported to this temple where he has to undergo all these biblical style plagues etc. The thing is however, is this story feels a lot like a story in which your lead character is punished - what I mean is, it would make more sense if this pest-controller character decided to 'steal' the diary in his dishonest effort to become the 'greatest in the world' - so he breaks in, steals the diary to cheat, and then the diary whisks him back to the temple and the trials and in this way he pays a price for his greed/dishonesty...
So something like: ACT 1 - set up a situation where you have two rival pest controllers vying for the 'best in the world' category - the 'James Cole Prize' so-named after the greatest best controller in history, famous for ridding the 'Blah Blah Temple of its Seven Terrible Plagues' etc. One of the pest controllers decides to cheat by stealing the diary...
ACT 2: the temple of plagues - we see the pest controller fighting off the various pests etc... but at the end, we see how the pest controller is himself transformed into a cockroach...
ACT 3: we're back in the real world; the second pest controller looks down and exterminates the cockroach he finds on the floor...
The moral of the story is 'crime doesn't pay'... or something like that. For me, the important bit you need to look at is the ACT 1 set-up and figuring out the motivation for your character, and I suspect setting up a rivalry narrative might help you do this very immediately. What do you think?
OGR 26/01/18
ReplyDeleteHey Filipe, I think you've got the makings of something solid here - though your premise reads more like an idea for a platform/side-scroller game than a 2 minute film! What I like is the idea of a pest controller deciding to be the 'best in the world' and that he's transported to this temple where he has to undergo all these biblical style plagues etc. The thing is however, is this story feels a lot like a story in which your lead character is punished - what I mean is, it would make more sense if this pest-controller character decided to 'steal' the diary in his dishonest effort to become the 'greatest in the world' - so he breaks in, steals the diary to cheat, and then the diary whisks him back to the temple and the trials and in this way he pays a price for his greed/dishonesty...
So something like: ACT 1 - set up a situation where you have two rival pest controllers vying for the 'best in the world' category - the 'James Cole Prize' so-named after the greatest best controller in history, famous for ridding the 'Blah Blah Temple of its Seven Terrible Plagues' etc. One of the pest controllers decides to cheat by stealing the diary...
ACT 2: the temple of plagues - we see the pest controller fighting off the various pests etc... but at the end, we see how the pest controller is himself transformed into a cockroach...
ACT 3: we're back in the real world; the second pest controller looks down and exterminates the cockroach he finds on the floor...
The moral of the story is 'crime doesn't pay'... or something like that. For me, the important bit you need to look at is the ACT 1 set-up and figuring out the motivation for your character, and I suspect setting up a rivalry narrative might help you do this very immediately. What do you think?
I think that is a nice and intelligent way to continue the story because I was struggling to end it and now I know what to do.
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